I broke the heart that I once nestled in my hand like
crystal from Tiffany’s.
Shattered pieces
are all that remain and there is nothing that I can do to repair this precious
jewel.
I'm sorry. Dear God I'm sorry.
If I had only recognized the hurt that would be
inflicted upon you;
foolish me who so loudly proclaimed to love you and
would lay my life down for you.
Instead I laid
myself down in another's bed.
It's only now when I see the disgust in your eyes that
I truly feel the shame of what I have bred.
I’ve lost everything that means anything.
I’ve lost your faith, your love, your trust.
I was so weak to temptations lust but it’s no
excuse;
I should have
fought harder not to betray us.
Though it is not death that separates us as our vows
say we must.
We still have come to part.
Someday I hope you can forgive me for being cavalier
with your love and breaking your lovely heart.
Written By: Larry D. Miller
Larry D. Miller has over 20yrs in the field of crisis intervention as a call center supervisor for Runaway/Homeless at risk youth and families.Larry enjoys spending time with his family, writing (Larry has completed and published his first book) and playing golf.
Looking back over the past year I think about the many blessings
in my life.
I do this to keep me motivated and grounded so that I don’t get to
feeling remorse about the tough times I’ve faced throughout this thing called
life.
No I have not had a crippling injury or face a life threatening
prognosis and thankfully my family has been in good health. These are the
blessings that fill my life.
Yet something appears to missing. It’s the most simplest yet at
the same time the most elusive thing for a lot of people and that is peace of
mind.
You get tired at times from the everyday struggles facing you from
the time you get up until the time you lay down.
I know some people have more on their plate and that there are
people starving and living lives in the poorest of circumstances. I feel for
those people and what they are going through, it's a real tragedy.
You are thankful you are not going through those types of things
but it does little to ease my burdens or help me to sleep.
Mine is the typical story of just trying to keep my head above
water, paying the bills on an income that barely allows you to cover them; I’m
tired of having that looming feeling that you are just a few missed pay checks
away from being on the street and at the same time putting on that everything
is fine attitude.
One of my greatest gifts is to put my own situation to the side
and be the voice of empathy and reason to others. I am grateful to be of help
to others. It’s what I do to make a living and it’s fulfilling.
I don’t know why or how but for some reason God has always put me
as the sounding board to those who need to talk. I mean anyone, for instance my
wife and I could be in the store and have total strangers strike up
conversations with us. Our children would always think it strange and would ask
do you know them? We would say no and they would wonder aloud why is it that
people feel so comfortable talking with you all?
I can’t explain it myself I guess we have something that just
makes people feel comfortable.
At least I know she does.
Okay back to my story.
It had been a tough year financially but good fortune did smile on
my wife and I as she landed a job with a good company after being off of work
for a good while.
You never really know the true character of someone until you face
hard times together.
I tell everyone especially my kids this.
I love my wife with everything I have so when I tell you that it
hurt the hell out of me to see her go through the emotions of being unemployed, manage a family on limited resources while trying not to give in to negativity that can come from this, I mean every bit of it.
She is a fighter just like her late mother.
I felt so bad for her and sometimes helpless as to what I could do
to make her feel less stress about the whole thing.
I felt a sense of worthlessness for not being able to relieve her
anguish by being more financially able.
You feel a sense of failure as a man, as a father as a person.
She deserves a life of happiness to the fullest and I promised her
dad when I told him I wanted to marry his daughter I would take care of her
with all my heart and soul.
I’ve done that in every area but one in my eyes and that’s being
able to give us financial security.
This is one of my biggest peeves and my greatest nemesis.
It has been disheartening for me to say the least.
At the end of every year you are expected to do an overview of
past year events and think about your expectations for a better tomorrow.
At midnight you hoist up a glass of champagne kiss your loved one
and make your New Year’s Resolution.
Well let me tell you I’m plum out of expectations or resolutions
that are far reaching, My biggest goal these days is to just be able to put
feet to floor and live another day.
You might think that’s pretty low but for me it means I have the
opportunity to keep moving to keep breathing. Some people say I am a bit
pessimistic hell maybe from reading this you get the same vibe but really the
way I look at it I’m a realist.
I just deal with shit the best way I can when it comes my way.
Sometimes it seems like life is having a bad case of the runs.
Was that to harsh? Well I told you I’m a realist.
Stick and move, watch out for the jab is my motto.
It’s how I survive.
Written By: Larry D. Miller
How do you deal with hard times? Can you point to what help you too get through? Do you believe that there is a positive in even the bleakest of moments?
Larry D. Miller has over 20yrs in the field of crisis
intervention as a call center supervisor for Runaway/Homeless at risk youth and
families.
Larry enjoys spending time with his family, writing (Larry has
completed and published his first book) and playing golf.
